'"Every Day That Goes By,
I Realise More & More How Much You Love Me
& It Just Makes Me Love You Even More..
I Wil Always Love You Amy"

I Had to write that out, A text from nick..I found it soo sweet =) i do love that boy millions!

Been to brown cow tonight with laura & Hada few. bin an okay night =)
Kazs last night with lea, kaz, dooma, man kez, bucket, jay adams && Chloe..Al Gerin Messy,
Been snowing, raining, windy.. etc. Lovelyy! =|

Brothers birthday 2morrer so out fora meal, Then to nicks hehe =)

S'al for now. x x

I Dont have a clue about love? 
I Wish too god that was true, I'de love not to have a clue about love..
Coz its the wankest shittiest thing alive! 
& to say ive been in love three times already.. Never again!! 


Yes2day was quality, paddys day. 
me kaz donna & laura started off in new inn .. & had a fair few pints, then merl nat frankie & sum uva youth come in, so wer wif them:)
Merl bought guiness & smirnoff ice & decided to mix um for us, was nice thou :P

Then me kaz donna and laura & this uva youth went to market.. & wo drinkin malibu n coke in therrr!
me n dooma went on kareoke lmaoo singin.. Pink - who knew & Amy winehouse - valerie

Jay & Jamie hughs come in =D soo jay come bak to kazs wif us forabit :)

Then he walked me home before goin home himself..Was a decent day propa =]
Fell out with nick, i think we split up? Fuck noz. Stay strong, never show that your weak =]

s'all for now. x

I realised i only think of my journal when annoyed in relationships, & when i look back @ my entrys it seems that im never happy in them lol, SO..
im gonna write a nice one now.. =O lol.. So i can rememebr them times too, & be reminded its not all that bad..

Sunday night, i stayed @ nicks house, first time ide seen him ina week coz we hada break.. 
Anyways it was great too see him =] ..
He came mine & we talked forabit .. Then watched two pints =D .. I wanted to watch the notebook but he wouldn't =[ booo!
Anyways, we got some pizza & then taxi upto his house, Watched juressic park =D & Jus snuggled up kissin, was nice =] then we went to sleep bout 1am,
woke up & watched juressic park 3 aha =P i love um =] 

Was gonna c him tonight but i couldn't get a lift up =[ .. soo i guess il just afta wait til 2moz =[ i miss him lotsss thou!
we have been gettin better l8ly, thank god lol
but, important thing is i do love him alot, & i don't wanna lose him ever. <3

Went out @ weekend, Thursday,Friday & Satdi lol had to be done..
Thursday was an ace night.. out with katie, sarah, rowan, abbie, stacey, charlie.. jus za gurls =] 
I went out again on friday with rowan & met up with jennifer & sian..
& satdi, out again with stacey & Drank sum vodkas at mine before
met up with gal fora bit in bank, Realised i had odd boots on lmfao..so me & stace downed as many drinks as we could &
 we went bak to my house, & then wlkt bak into town when staceys heel broke off lmfao so we went bak & had some more vodka & red bull..wo rather pissed & that wo jus by bein at home..
then we met sian n tez in flannis & danced the night away & then off to liquid =] .. Was absolutely fukin hamerd, sat in toilet cubicle cryin on fone to nick haha ..
Oh dear.. 

Mayb out thursday but guna cut down on it coz its gerin too much & nick doesn't like it so i said ide spend more time with him ina weekend which i dont mind 
at all =] =D
Anyways, S'all for now. x.x.x.x

A m y < 3 N i c k 4 L i f e . x

Been a while since i wrote in here lol, but again i have something to rant about.. and i quickly thought of LJ lol.

Me & Nick constantly argueing, like every minute of everyday, we argue about anything and everything.. For no reason
And im gerin to the edge with it now.. 

I Went out last night & met nick after .. & Str8 away he said something to annoy me.. & then the Great night with him began ^o) .. 
Argueing all night, Went sleep woke up & was argueing again.. so i sent him home.
Argueing again on msn.. So i told him i wona few days to myself * think about everythin, a kinda break thing.. Anyways he rang me to talk.. & Again we argued
im seriously sick of it..
Anyways shurrup moanin bout that anyway, i so wish i didnt love that boy sometimes.

went out last night for tezs birthday, fancy dress =] .. i went as a pirate wench.. Tez as a sailor gurl, Sian as a french maid, Jennifer as queen of hearts ..
Kaz & Donna as school gurls, & Leanne as a gangsta, wa a right laugh but a propa mad night.. Started off in The vic dancin away to sex bomb & all that =P .. Wo drinkin malibu & Coke, Then to the bank for sum vks & PInts lol. Massive brawl on market wi bout 40 people.. Fightin..
Some gurl, i dont memba wot she looks like but she had a horrible yellow dress on lol Scrapin forabit.. loads of cops come so legged it into romans with gola & seen kaz donna n lea..
Then went upto flanniz..Some lass kept bumpin into me so i kept pushin into her & starin her out. So she went n got a bouncer lmao..HE tuk me n stace outside but didnt say owt coz we new him :P good ode george.. jus told us 2 stay away from here & then we hada fag wi him lol
Then stacey went, so i went to find tez & sian in liquid & Abbie, hada drink & Then went to meet Nicholas.
Ace night =D 

Hungover proper today thou =[ lol
Mothers meetin a scottish man now.. Seems nice =]

Turned down An oppitunity to go tennerife, Couldn't Go coz it was eitha nick or tennerife, Gutted Thou propa =[

S'all for now..
Take Me Away From Mansfield Please?
x

 Im So Stupid,
i promised myself ide never let another lad get in so deep,
and now i remember why ='( </3

so i met him, 
and now im distraught.
my heart has actually just smashed in pieces
Its not the same, dunt think it could work ='(

I Love him too bits, but is that enough?
I Really duno what to do with myself!

i need to get away from here.

Xmas was good, went round for nans for family dinner & a drink, then round ta kazs for half hour & bac ta staceys to enjoy resta the night
me stace jayne n gavin stayed up playin drinkin games lmao!
jenga, sharades & this uva game, was soo funny =P

new years eve a went out in town with stacey, roxy and kym, met me mum and emily down there too.
nick come along aswel..
we argued like fuk which wa shit but sorted it out eventually.
we finished on friday so im abit fed up, dunno whats happening, weel afta c not we =[
stil not gota job, i need ta go move ahead anorl see wots hapenin like, can't keep livin at jaynes lol..not fair.

went to naomi's party on friday, was a good night - very drunkened! lol ended up stayin @ shivs, veri random..we bofe spun out in the mornin az we cudnt memba lmfao! fuk iiitt =P 
sprained my ankle, fuk noz but it stil batters ta wlk on lol
stayed at me muvas lst night, stil here..goin bac home soon wen i ring a taxi lol =P

Hmm.. hope me and nick ull be okay =[ i love him <3

s'al for now. x

Hmm, not quite sure to do about nick? i had a talk with mother earlier & she things i should end things, but i dunno?
Ill figure it out soon, well..im hoping i do anyway.

Went out ona work night on sunday & it was great, everyone was really friendly and fun to be with!
I Didnt realise how many people worked/work there. 
It wer cheap drinks for us in marthas too seein as our boss put the prices down for staff=D 
so me abbie and megan took advantage of that, its only fair.
was dancin away with phil, hes a really nice guy..one of the people i get on with most there=)
And mike, hes great too. oh and andy. well theres a few Lol=P
We went swan, Romans, cheekys, bak ta marthaz, chicago & then bak ta marthas agen for the after party!
it was our bosses birthday you see. Stayed ther til about half 3.
hadn't enjoyed a night out like that in ages! Got in at about 3:45 but was kept up on the fone til 5, bcuz of phil lol.

This weeks been pretty rubbish, the weatha spoils everything. im skint too which is =(
Feelin abit better than i did the other day, but still fed up ina way.

Fuck it thou!
Xmas & New years soon, woo ^o) x

What hurts the most
Was being so close
& having so much to say
& Watching you walk away

Never knowing,
What could have been
Not seein that loving you,
is what i was trying to do

Its hard to deal with the pain
of losing you,
everywhere i go..
but im doing it.

Its hard to force that smile, 
when i see our whole friends & im alone,
Still harder, getting up, getting dressed
living with this regret.
but i know.
if i could do it over,

I Would change, give away, all the words that i saved
in my heart, that wer left unspoken.

Lauras msn name got me thinkin..
"Never give up the things that make you smile"
Makes sence dont you think?
So why should i?

Hes moved on, So hes bein selfish by not lettin me and nick be happy, end of the day, if were happy then he should be right?
Ide understand if he still loved me, but the fact is he doesn't. hes moved on, so have i.
But i can't seem to have the person i want? Bollox to that anorl lol
i will have him:) i do have him.

Went out last night to the swan to watch liverpool match >> 8-0 << to us! Oh my gayerz, i was happiest person out lol! =)
Went yates for one after & maddie & john dropped me off, & Nick came round for half hour =)
Went ta bed about half 12 & it killed me gettin up at 6 this morning, im absolutely bolloxed now lol so i shall be off to bed shortly!

Town this friday, Dressin az gangsta r we? =D lookin forward too it!
Im not out saturday as im bloody skintos, =(booo!

Change of plan, Not goin tenerife now. The gurlz wana go ibiza. Duno thou? Weel see..
S'all for now =)

<3

I Keep forgettin about this bloody fing lol
Haven't Really done much since last update though!

I now have a job, Onli agy work but it pays for the mad wkends! plus i get on gr8 with tha people ther which is a bonus reli!:) a right laugh!
Fuckin earli morninz kill me thou.. Half 5 :| lol
Every friday & sat ur garenteed am out gettin recked lol

me n alex r kinda not talkin, but wot can ya do.. we is totally over neways & i iz meetin some one else:)

Anyways s'all for now coz am off 2 get wasted with shivoo!:D 
xx

i miss him so much..
&& Theres nothin i can do about it :(
x